when it rains it does pour. i really have no idea when this will end, but when it does…  i sure hope i’ll be stronger, wiser, tougher, and more importantly happier.

and fuck, funny how when people needed you, you where there ready to help. and when it was your turn, they not only NOT help you, they screw you up big time. thanks for the life lessons assholes!

because i love my family no matter what.

i will love them unconditionally.

even if yves keeps on breaking my heart, i will still continue to love him and be here for him when he realizes his mistakes because he will always be the little brother that i remember when i left for college.

even if yoyo keeps on breaking my heart because he tends to be irresponsible, i will still continue to love him and understand him. the smiles that my nephew and niece gives us are priceless.

even if i dont get papa anymore, he keeps secrets from mama and he is not the person i used to know, i will still love him because he instilled in me values and taught me all the things i carry with me right now.

even if i really do not have to be responsible for my cousins, i will still continue to help them so that they may able to help their family one day and continue the same thing that im doing right now.

even if mama keeps on doing the same thing over and over again and i get mad at her, i understand why because she too loves her family unconditionally.

even if my family is not perfect, i will try my damnest to understand and forgive. when everything else fails, when everyone else leaves you, family will always be there.

mommy olive said it best. its never sacrifice when you do difficult things without thinking twice about it – it is because you love your family.

lately, people have been posting a whole lotta crap in FB. i dont mean to bash, because, yah, i do that sometimes. SOMETIMES! there are just a whole lot of annoying people who post non-stop. come on give me a break. i do believe that everyone has their own right with their profile page in FB. but come on, at least edit out your settings so that not everyone can see whatever celtic name or japanese name you have. who the hell cares?!?! and there are those who opt to go emo. it’s so sickening coz it seems like everyone has gone emo! even my brother. ergh! yah, understandably, these people are in love, brokenhearted or all these other things, but do you really have to broadcast it every 2 hours or so? i think everyone can get a hint from the book “why men love bitches” which i can roughly translate to “why good girls love you, gago!”. if you broadcast how much you are so in love with this person, they get creeped out, i should guess (coz it creeps me out, and its not even for me!). i do admit, i can fall into the spell of these love-trance once in a while or i get really pissed (that all that comes out of my mouth is stinky trash), but i resort to twitter, where no one actually checks, even if i have a few friends “following” me. isn’t it nice to have anonimity sometimes, a little mystery – where people can actually get intrigued and would want to know you and not judge you (through FB!).

people want to create drama, and there are just so many of you, it’s become such a comedy to me. sorry.

Yup, I actually said I don’t care! Coz I don’t. I’ve come to a point that I’ve learned to be unreceptive of what others’ impression of me is. It becomes so tiring that you stop really thinking of it - whether it has a grain of truth to it or not. So I said some crazy things – who cares! I am not gonna apologize for what I said, what I am and how I think. You say I contradict myself – welcome to my life and live with it.

I have a funny friend who also happens to be very artistic. I chanced upon his Friendster account and saw this photo him with his creation. I think this is the one for Parasat’s office. He was commissioned to do their Christmas window display and they liked it that they called him again for yet another fantastic job.

I love Joey’s style coz it’s so uniquely quirky. All artists are, but I’ve never really known any ‘artists’. Joey is in all sense an artist. The way he thinks is different. And it really amazes me coz I’ve been wishing to have an ounce of ‘artist blood’ in me. Unfortunately, I don’t. And I don’t think you learn to be an artist. One is born with it.

 

Joey's Art

 

 

Joey's Reunion Art

 

Reunion 2008

Joey, firedancing.

When I went home the last time, my friends and I visited a place called “Bag of Beans”. Aside from the really cozy atmosphere, I fell in love with the food. In fact, the blueberry pancake that I ate still haunt me and my dreams since that day. I find myself staring into my computer at work and thinking about these pancakes. I literally daydream about it. Pathetic, I know.

Life can really only be what you make of it. If you choose to live it miserably, then that’s stupid. Im glad I’ve wisen up.

well, i wasn’t really gone that long but i was feeling about down lately (though i really tried my damnest to be cool and not let my evil thoughts consume me). so yes there i was, successfully ignoring one of the things that tried its best to drag me down. im sorry hun, not me. im not easily swayed anymore. i won’t let your childish and lame life ruin me. try harder though, you might be lucky next time. hahahahah. so i’ll just say, i’ll party my life away. this weekend, LKF has the carnival (mardi gras of sorts) and the following weekend will be the halloween celebration. so im pretty excited to partey.

i was talking to my friend paola yesterday about earning a master’s degree. since we work fulltime, the only option is to have it from the internet. from accredited schools of course. so here i was surfing the net earlier trying to find all these info for distance learning. i was looking for info on MBA. well, university of london is one of the best (as i’ve read), but man, the fees are like really out of this world (at least for me). i also considered university of leicester (the fees are quite alright at USD15,000 a year). i also sent a request for info from univ of phoenix and less than an hour later a lady called me. weird though coz its like already late at night there. anyway, she gave me a lot of useful info. the whole course can be finished within 1 and a half years if you do not take any breaks. and the cost of the whole program is USD 24,000. goodness!

anyway, she explained that each course takes about 6 weeks with 3 units each. and you have to pay USD2,000 for each course.. at the rate im going, i m guessing i can only get 3 courses a year and would be finish within four years. i would actually call myself impatient, but i think its too long.

my other option is the university of sydney which offers Project Management Graduate Program. the fees are a bit lower at USD10,000 per year. i really still have no idea how long it takes to get the degree though. i am really serious about this. im not getting any younger and i know my only way to go up the ladder will be to get a master’s degree. god help me. i need to weigh all my options. i can already feel my brain processing all information at once. i have to think this through very carefully. i also have commitment issues. i tend to get sidetracked. well, this involves a lot of moolah so i guess that is one way to get me on track. but still, can i afford it?

 

i was just discussing with my friend, witch last night how much i tend to like tv shows for guys. no, i dont have lesbian tendencies just to be perfectly clear. if you do not have a mind like mine well you wouldn’t understand. but that’s not the point of this whole entry of mine. most of my favorite shows (not counting oprah and queer eye for the straight guy), are stuff that guys mostly like to watch.

i am really a big fan of the daily show which is hosted by jon stewart. one example of a show which guys prefer. some years back , i think i was watching CNN late one night (back home in cdo when i was still a college kid), when i found myself watching his show, not even understanding what the hell jon was talking about. i didnt have any idea who he was back then. but there was something about him – you know he knows what he was talking about. it was the way he intelligently took on the topic albeit poking fun of whoever/whatever was the hot topic of the day. during those times, i only catch him during late weekends in cnn. when i came to hong kong, i chanced upon him once again in cnn. and there i was, a few minutes later checking the site. they actually how clips of the show. i got so hooked. and what do you know, just a few months ago, full episodes were already posted. that was a really happy day for me. funny though, coz i hate politics, at least philippine politics. but i am so hooked with american politics ever since i started watching the daily show again.

the show, which has been hugely popular and wildly successful in cable television blends humor with the day’s top news stories, usually in politics,while simultaneously poking fun at politicians and many newsmakers as well as the news media itself. oh my god, you should hear me laugh when i watch it. since watching the show, ive been so aware of all the latest political and financial happenings in the states. i give credit to the writers. they are always spot on – touching on real and serious issues while presenting it in a really funny way.  they make fun of just about everyone, believe me. i would think people would not mind being mentioned on this show (be it positive or negative). i mean come on, a slight mention of your name on this show just means you’re there – you’ve arrived, you’re famous. one element i love about the show is the way corespondents typically present absurd or humorously exaggerated takes on current events against Stewart’s “straight man”. if you watch the show, you’ll instantly understand that jon is not so fond of george w. bush – infact, he is the biggest critic. he has also has gained significant acclaim as a vocal, outspoken critic of personality-driven media shows, in particular the coverage of the U.S. news media networks CNN, Fox News Channel and MSNBC.

my favorite segment of the show is when they do interviews and the interviewer asks such out of topic or totally insane questions. i do think the people interviewed have been already briefed about this style of presenting the news. it really is funny when you see the correspondent give out his question and the one being interviewed gives a blank stare (or an “are you serious?” look). it’s just hilarious.

anyway, a few weeks back, the New Yorker cover featured “a parodied scurrilous (and arguably racist) attacks on barack obama, democratic nominee for the U.S. presidency, and his wife, michelle”. The cover was perceived as an accusation that Barack is a closeted Muslim, that Michelle “hates whitey” and, most bizarrely, that a fist-pounding gesture between them was a “terrorist fist jab” according to the national post. Canadian-born illustrator Barry Blitt intended to aim the joke at Obama’s ignorant detractors, but some Democrats took offence anyway.

the new yorker august cover

it was a hot topic all over the news channels. this now-infamous cover was brought to life by jon and his fellow comedy central host stephen colbert in the latest entertainment weekly out in sept 29.

entertainment weekly spoof

back in august vanity fair, also ran a similarly-themed cover featuring the other presidential candidate, john mccain and his wife cindy. but i just love this new cover of entertainment weekly. it’s downright freakin awesome.

vanity fair august cover

in the past 2 or so years, i ve learned a lot. i never believed the truth will set anyone free. what you dont know wont hurt you – now that’s what i believe in. it’s really difficult for me to deal with reality. if i could put off reality forever, i would so do that. i’m not one to take criticisms as constructive – never. but these past years, i did just the opposite. i guess i finally figured how to survive. i would have to or else people are going to eat me alive. and what shall i do, cry till no piece of me is left? i dont think so. i learned that being yourself, standing your own ground is the only way to go. i admit i have been swayed in the past (i think it’s what you call peer pressure). my belief is based on someone else’s belief. i would say, people’s perception of me is one tough person (i have my involuntary brows to thank for that), but i was actually scared inside. then i realized, why should it be me who follows? for a change, why not have an opinion of my own? the realization did not come to me in an instant, i had to experience it over and over again. talk about masochistic. yep, i stumbled along the way, but i had to dust all the negative residue and stand up as if nothing happened. but along the way, little lessons have been taught to me.

a few months ago, i spent a tiny portion of my life in vietnam. i would say i was alone (most of the filipinos that i met are guys). my lunch buddies were vietnamese guys. the girls in the office, i should say, didnt share the same passion as i do. we were never on the same level. to make a long story short, i had to stay “alive”. one of my colleagues from hk was in to give a training. i casually invited him for lunch one day. but we ended up having dinner. one of the things that i picked up from him was to never have regret. then again, i thought that’s not who i am. the next day, i very close friend of mine pointed out that it’s like having no conscience at all. how true. then i realized, not having regrets shouldn’t be that way. it just meant that whatever you’ve done in the past, learn from it and if you think it was wrong, never do it again. but never regret having been in that position coz, come on, dwelling in it (whatever it was) will never change anything..you can only hope further down the road, things will be better than that last experience.

what has that lesson about regret (or lack of it) have to do with this - well i might have said a few things which i never should have told certain people. ive been thinking about it since i came home today. i weighed things out (a few minutes before writing this), and well, the things i said were true and whether that person accepts it or not, well doesnt really matter. i few years ago, i’d be very careful of the things i say coz i dont want to hurt anyone. well, so much for ms-im-so-sorry. im done with that. dont get me wrong, though, there’s still that wee bit of my good side that’s screaming. well, in reality, it’s not about being bad, it’s about being true to yourself. its not always what others require of you. it’s what others deserve from you. dont count my family, i still have a hard time, tearing myself away.

 

my first two years in hongkong, i never experienced having to miss work because of a typhoon. well, 2008′s my lucky year! not counting today’s typhoon signal number 8, i think we have had to stay home from work for the third time this year. quite a lot considering i never even experienced heavy rain in hong kong until may of this year. last june, a record-breaking rainfall was experienced by hk (the most as far as it’s recorded history is concerned). in august, we also had a few residential building’s near taikoo fong (quarry bay’s business district), hit by a two flying glass panes that were blown away from the the newly-erected One Island East Building.

 

One Island East during typhoon Kamuri

 

 

a typhoon signal number 1 warning greeted my me as i entered the office building this morning. funny, i never even noticed any sign of any impending rain. around mid afternoon, the warning was raised to signal number 3 and a few hours ago, it was raised to signal number 8. i came home early not wanting a repeat of that dreadful day when i had to run in the heavy rain with my (squeaking) stilettos. i didn’t mind getting wet coz i live near the office, but sadly i could not save my shoes from being totally soaked.  while i was preparing dinner, i heard a very loud noise of shattering glass. i quickly ran to my room expecting half of my stuff blown away or falling down twenty-seven storeys below. i was relieved to find my room safe (during this time at least). as you can see, glass window covers 2/3 of the height and the whole width (2m) of my rear wall (so you can just imagine the surface area that is exposed to the pounding wind). the window does give me a good view of the harbor from my bed but it also gives me nightmares during these times. our unit sits on one of the most vulnerable part since our neighboring buildings do not go as high as our building. good thing i have an extra mattress which folds out. i used it as a shield, in case my windows would shatter. seriously, i can feel and see the window vibrating (imagine the glass curving). I guess this calls for another sleepless night.

part of my window as seen from the side of my bed